The Power Of Now

Wide Smart Trousers By Asos Men for 28§ sale HERE//Top By Orttu Last Season//Slippers By Zara Man Old//

Been gone for a minute but I’m back with a new outfit. Wearing, beautiful wide trousers by Asos in the color indigo. Love the fit of these, the long length and the open slide at the bottom.

Paired the trousers with a grey top. Perfect color combo and a simple gold necklace that goes with everything.

I have been meaning to write this post for a really long time. Even way back in 2012 when I started my blog. But haven’t had the courage to do so or the right knowledge.

I know that my English isn’t the best, but readable. So I will try to do my best to explain, how my last couple of months has been like. I have for some time had a mild form of depression (which took me a long time to acknowledge). Having low self-esteem or the desire to do anything, but work. I have been like this for a really long time, on and off. Some days better than others. And it basically just stems from my experience, being gay and coping with feelings, that I have ignored for years.

Being gay and black, living in a Scandinavian country hasn’t always been the easiest. Not because of the color of my skin, but some more that I stand out. Since the age of 16, when I came out, to my family and friends, I have since then, experienced a lot of hate (from outsiders). I, like many others, was in a stage, where I was trying to figure out, who I am as a person. And that often showed in my style. So I was very exposed too hate, from a sensitive age. Which I first now understand, still has an effect years later.

Even though I knew that would happen. I just didn’t have the right tools, to coop with the feelings/scars that it had left, from each experience. On top of that, the kind of upbringing that I have. I never felt comfortable opening up, for anyone. Which is more damaging.

I’m not going into details about how my life has been over the last 10 years. But I definitely see a bad pattern that effects me as a person, my creativity and the way I represent myself to other people. I have spent this summer to relax, reflect and coop with my feelings. So I can get to a better place. Getting back to my happy self and confident.

The power of now: a guide to spiritual enlightment

One of the first steps that I did, to understand my feelings and thoughts, was to listen, to motivational speeches from people like, Oprah Winfrey, Lisa Nichols and many others. Which led me to a book, that I’m still reading called the power of now: a guide to spiritual enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle. Never would I have thought, I would lay in bed in 2019 and write a “review” about a book.

Words can’t really explain the kind of effect it has had on me (I have been cigarette free for 21 days, so good, has it been). I have learned so much and I’m only halfway through. I’m not going to write a whole essay on why you should give this book a try. But it makes you reflect and acknowledge your feelings, how to cope with them and why the past doesn’t/shouldn’t define who I’m today. It’s a book that anyone could get good use of, reading. Plus it’s easy to read.

I know it’s not an overnight process, getting the right tools to cope with certain feelings and other things, that trick my mind to think negatively of myself or not letting bad influence affect me.

With that written, I’m happy with where I’m right now. Taking things day by day. Plus, I’m starting on a photography course in a couple of days. So looking forward to that and maintaining my workouts in the gym. Focusing on positive energy and self education.

Au Revoir, peepz!